Notes on leadership and engineering management

The most damaging mistakes I sometimes made as an engineering manager.

felt like good leadership at the time.

That’s what makes them dangerous.

Here are 8 habits that quietly limit your team—while looking like as “doing a great job”:

1. 𝗦𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴

Someone brings a problem. You jump in and fix it. Fast, satisfying… and a missed rep for them.

𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗻.

𝟮. 𝗛𝗼𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁

You filter what comes from leadership to “keep things simple.”

Now your team is making decisions with half the picture.

𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗮𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿-𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴.

𝟯. 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲

You reply to every DM instantly.

Feels supportive—but you’re training the team to wait instead of act.

𝟰. 𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀

Silence feels kind in the moment.

But unclear expectations compound into bigger problems later.

𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.

𝟱. 𝗠𝗶𝗰𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄

You define both the outcome and the path.

Execution improves short-term. Ownership disappears long-term.

𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲.

𝟲. 𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀

“Have you considered…?”

It sounds collaborative, but often it blurs what needs to be said.

𝗦𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗗𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁.

𝟳. 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲

You smooth every bump. Step in before things break.

But struggle is where judgment gets built.

𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘂𝗽 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁.

𝟴. 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝟭:𝟭𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀

You talk tickets, blockers, timelines.

But skip energy, motivation, and growth.

𝟭:𝟭𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀.

None of these make you a bad leader.

They make you a common one.

The shift starts when you notice them—in real time.

Which one are you still unlearning?

(For me, it’s #3.)